Make sure to follow it! It doesn’t mean I’ll abandon this one but I want to focus more on my overall system. Lots of Hekatean stuff in it though so it’s certain you’ll find it interesting if you liked Skiaion Hekataion!
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Last night I performed a pathworking (a form of meditational journey) after a really long time of inaction and lack of practice. Of course, since I am still “rusty” from all the not-doing, the journey itself was a bit rushed/forced and although profound, it wasn’t as spectacular (spiritual fireworks and all) as some of the pathworkings I have performed in the past. It was also a new type for me, a kind of Katavasis (Descent) into an Underwordly place: a cave.
The journey itself was simple. I found myself in front of a cave’s entrance. On the right side of the entrance, I found a torch. I lit it and proceeded inside the cave. The cave itself was more of a corridor, large and expanding inwards, leading somewhere. Once I was far enough inside that the only light came from my torch, a large, white wolf appeared before me. It seemed crazed and bared its fangs at me. I challenged it verbally, naming it as the “first of my fears” and when it lunged at me, I hit it with the torch. Its fur caught on fire and the beast incinerated with a howl. I could feel the heat of the flames on my skin. I didn’t stop there, I kept walking.
Shortly afterwards, while the cavern was getting progressively smaller, I found a dead-end. The ground stopped and I was standing in front of water. All of the cavern corridor’s floor from that point on was black, deep water. A natural pond of sorts. I got in and swimmed until I reached the other side (pun not intended). This was my second fear, the fear of unknown depths and drowning, in its many forms. I struggled a bit to get out of the water and I felt wet but not too cold. I kept walking forward (as if I had any other direction to turn!).
The cavern got even smaller, I could still stand without issue but the walls and ceiling were pretty close to me, as opposed to the spacious parts earlier. I finally reached what seemed like a real dead-end. The corridor narrowed so much that the opening would hardly allow me to pass and that only if I squeezed myself through it. This was my third fear: feeling trapped, claustrophobia. Admittedly, it took me a while to muster the courage and a couple of times during the actual passing through, my breath quickened and I felt the pangs of panic. At those times I stopped, looked at the torch’s flame, grasped (physically) my amethyst pendant and assured myself that Hekate would not let me suffocate in here. Finally, after a while, I managed to get through the narrow passage and ended up in another, closed cavern.
It was like a round room, lit up by luminous crystal formations on the floor, near the walls. The cavern itself wasn’t really big although it could contain 7-10 people without issue. In front of me, on the wall, I noticed a small, natural rock “shelf”. It looked like a suspended altar. I left a gift I had with me (a small acorn, something I was urged to find and use during previous pathworkings a year ago) on the natural altar and sat down. Suddenly, in front of me, there was a tiny pond, like a basketball sized hole filled with water. It was so dark, it looked like a mirror. I touched it and the reflection of the luminous cave rippled. Now that I think about it, the glimmer made it look like a starry night-sky. I gazed in it a little, I saw eyes, the sigil-like symbol seen below and lots of serpent-like figures. I smiled, got up and left the way I entered, tracing my journey backwards and out of the cave.
One of the most common portrayals of Hekate is that of Her as three-headed or with three conjoined bodies. This is often interpreted as Her watching towards all directions (of the crossroads), thus wielding powers of vast insight, as well as being a reference to the crossroads itself, one of Her most predominant symbols.
This made sense to me. The symbolism and the interrelations of the meanings rang true. However, I couldn’t help but feel puzzled as to how She could see towards all directions if the directions are four (Forward, Behind, Left and Right or North, South, West and East – six if you add Above and Below) while Her heads were three.
I reached two possible solutions to this, which open different layers of understanding.
First, Her three bodies/heads were usually depicted in such as manner that reminded me of the letter Y: watching diagonically and thus having a 360 degrees POV instead of a 270 degrees POV that a T position would create.
Interestingly enough, according to some folklore, She is mostly associated with Y-shaped crossroads, above any other type (such as +-shaped ones). Furthermore, such a crossroads can represent the most basic of situations: you are led to a point where you have to make a choice. Granted, we have more alternatives than two, however, the universal and simplest form is that of a double choice: this or that? Yes or no?
In this manner, Hekate watches our past, what leads us to this crossroads, while also watching our potential future. She is standing at the centre, being our present and the crossroads itself.
The second potential solution to my dilemma, was this one: Hekate has three known faces looking Left, Right and Forward. Yet She has a fourth face, a concealed, hidden face, looking Behind. This face corresponds to an epithet I am fond of using for Her (and which is of my own creation): Skiaia – of the Shadows, Shadowy One. Her fourth face is hiding in the shadows, ever-watchful of the past, of former choices and things unknown to us, which shaped us regardless of our own awareness of them.
As such, She is again standing in the centre of crossroads, a +-shaped one this time. She is aware of all roads, in a linear fashion, and has a deep insight of the very end and beginning of each road, for Her gaze stretches parallel to the paths themselves and not crooked like in the other example.
Strangely enough, both solutions seem to apply at once, just like many things in Witchcraft do. All crossroads are Her domain regardless of shape and position. Perhaps She adapts to the occasion. Perhaps She is All at Once, beyond our limitations.
Faces of Hekate: Role – Attribute – Epithet – Tool
North/Forward Face: Opener of Ways - Initiatrix – Kleidouchos - Key
South/Behind Face: Oracle of Knowledge - Watcher - Skiaia - Rod/Torch*
West/Left Face: Guide of the Blessed - Psychopomp - Enodia - Rope/Cord
East/Right Face: Averter of Evil - Guardian – Apotropaia - Dagger
*It might seem paradoxical that as Skiaia, Shadowy One, She holds the Torch. It is indeed, yet ours is a religion of paradoxes and She is the embodiment of All, opposite or not. She IS the Shadow yet She holds the Light illuminating it.
This was a very short experience but also tremendously moving for me. Here we go:
The other night, I was contemplating meditating since I couldn’t really sleep. So, I sat on the bed, back to the wall, put Dargaard’s Caverna Obscura to help me relax (strong enough to block outer sounds but not enough to distract me) and closed my eyes. I should point out here that my eyes had adjusted to the dark room and I could faintly see the general shape of the furniture (I am also extremely short-sighted so I wouldn’t be able to see much with light on anyway).
I wanted to do something Hekate-focused. The ol’ Greenwood meditation didn’t appeal to me and I sure as hell didn’t want to go to Her Man in Black’s Crossroads anytime soon. Therefore, I improvised. I continually whispered Her name while relaxing my mind and allowing any spontaneous images or thoughts to emerge. I was dumbstruck when a very potent thought, clearly not mine and almost as clear as spoken word literally erupted in my mind: “Do you want to see Me?”
I froze. I am certain my face changed all types of colours. I couldn’t react, I just kept muttering Her name. And then another thought struck me: “Stop repeating my name, it’s annoying.” Ma’am, yes Ma’am. You simply comply with such a tone. I stopped whispering. Again, I was assaulted with another foreign thought: “Open your eyes.”
I did so. What I saw almost immediately and for about 5 seconds was a woman with long black hair, in what appeared as a white dress or chiton, standing in front of my library, about 6 feet away from me and a little to my left. She walked a bit further to my left, at the same distance and then she simply vanished. No shadow playing with my eyes. I saw a woman, clearly and certainly. My hand cupped my mouth which had fell open in a semi-hanging smile and my eyes were tearing up. For a long time, I wished I could see Her, even only as a glimpse. And there She was, fulfilling my desire. And in a time when I truly needed a strong sign that all was indeed right and I should not be wavering in my determination.
I saw Her and She was divine. Blessed be Great Hekate, I truly love you.
In this blog, I will share some of the theoretical parts of the new, developing praxis of mine. Note that these are NOT yet tested and thus remain strictly in the realm of theory and symbology. Still, the correspondences and symbolisms are my own and resonate with my understandings in a very deep level. Additionally, I have spent quite some time contemplating what equals what and if x brings/affects y et al, so rest assured that, at least as far as symbolism and correspondence are concerned, these are true.
For the time being, I have created and written down certain tools that will most probably be the primary tools in my Hekatean practice. Other tools will certainly be used but they are deemed secondary and thus not mentioned. I will present here which are those tools as well explain what their purpose and roles are, as well as certain symbolic meanings they hold.
The Triad of Hekate’s Seal
Hekate’s Seal, as I have designed it, is an eye in a circle and upon that circle, in the positions that correspond to a triquetra’s points, are placed three important symbols of Hers: the dagger, the key and the rope. Those three are the Triad of Hekate’s Seal and the very first tools in my new praxis.
Dagger: The Dagger is the symbol of the Witch’s power and Will. As such, it is also the symbol of the Witch herself, since Will is the power the Witch uses more than any other. The Dagger is also the Witch’s weapon against all forces seen and unseen and is the guide and conductor of her Will. Its properties are that of control, authority and summoning. In this praxis, the Dagger has no specific elemental affinity, instead it contains all elements equally in symbolism. It can be held as an emblem of the Witch in her interactions with any being or force, even deities, although it is not a forceful tool in the latter’s case, only a magical badge of recognition and status as a Witch.
The Crossroads Key: The Key is an old, plain key imbued with the power and magic of a crossroads through an appropriate rite (such as the one Oakthorne outlines in his Hoodoo group). It stands as the greatest symbol of Hekate and Her power. The Key is used to lock and unlock the three Gates, provide a link to the crossroads, serve as a focal point for the worship of Hekate as well as empower any rite and working. Like the Dagger, it has no specific elemental affinity.
The Hanged Man’s Rope: The Hanged Man’s Rope is a piece of rope (old preferably) symbolizing the bonds of both the ancestors and the Restless Dead, the deceased that Hekate holds power over, with our world. The Rope is used as a conduit or focus for interaction with the dead. Also, it can be used both to guide the Restless Dead to the underworld as well as to sever the bonds that hold them in this world. The first should be combined with another tool, the Hekatean Rod, while the latter should make use of the Dagger to symbolically cut the lingering bonds by placing the Dagger’s blade on the Rope. Again, like the Dagger and the Key, the Rope has no specific elemental affinity.
These three tools can also be used to form Hekate’s Seal physically (as opposed to a drawn symbol), with a bowl of water as the eye in the circle’s centre.
The Witch’s tools are three: the Hekataion, the Hekatean Rod and the blessed water. These are and can be used alongside the Triad of the Seal. They complement and complete the Triad and they are equal in importance.
Hekataion: The Hekataion is the “Book of Shadows” of the Hekatean praxis. A Hekataion is any place or object dedicated to Hekate or portraying Her. In ancient Greece, a Hekataion was often a column or other similar construct (like a statue or altar) portraying Hekate, usually accompanied by the Charites and placed on crossroads (mostly Y shaped). Symbolically, the book is a Hekataion since it is dedicated to Hekate and the Hekatean praxis. The Hekataion contains all information and lore regarding Hekate and this praxis. It can also be used as a religious focus in worship (though not as a divine book, merely as a sacred object).
Hekatean Rod: The Rod is made from a plane tree’s branch I found in front of our block of flats. The three plane trees in front of our house are of great significance to me and my practice, therefore a wand (or rod) made from one of their branches is of great symbolic value. The Rod is the Dagger’s “sibling” in many ways. They have great, in some cases opposing, differences. Because of that, they complement each other and should often be used in conjuction. The Rod is the symbol of the messenger. Its properties are that of calm interaction, of communication and exchange. The Rod is a tool of communication and soothing, a parallel of Hermes’ staff, the caduceus (Greek: Kerykeion – Herald’s Staff) which is both a symbol of his status as a messenger and a tool for putting people into sleep. The Rod is used for inviting entities (usually deities or respected daemons) as well as for invocation and evocation (alongside the Dagger). Unlike the previous tools, the Rod has a specific and highly important elemental affinity: it is of the element of Air (further empowering its properties and roles). Finally, the Rod is used to open and close (which follow and preceed respectively, the unlocking and locking) the Gates.
Blessed Water: Blessed Water is charged and blessed saltwater in a bowl or other container. It should always be made prior to rituals and other workings in the Hekatean praxis, since it is vital for the minor cleansings before and after any rites and workings as well as to signify/open the rite itself. Its roles are that of cleansing, sanctification and protection.
The Elemental Pillars
In the Hekatean praxis, there are four tools that correspond to and represent the elements in any rite or working. Unlike other systems, in this praxis, those four tools, called Pillars, are stones. Every stone represent and correspond to an element (fire, water, air and earth). The making of these stones into the Elemental Pillars can be done in three ways: a) collect stones from areas associated with a particular element (e.g. a pebble from a coast for water or a piece of rock magma [igneous rock] for fire), b) “baptise” them in the chosen element (e.g. pass the stone through a flame or dip in water) or c) use a combination of the other two methods (e.g. one stone can be made into a Pillar via method A and another via method B).
The Pillars are the magical foundations of every ritual (as well as most elabourate workings) in the Hekatean practice. Their use is essential since nothing can be constructed (magically/energetically) without proper foundations. Each Pillar has its own meanings and properties and based on those, they can be positioned differently depending on the ritual/working.
Pillar of Earth: It represents the element of Earth. Its properties are: stability, calmness, power physical/bodily/life force, growth, fertility, support, death, precaution, restriction/confinement. It can be used as the foremost Pillar for workings and rites related/focused on these things.
Pillar of Fire: It represents the element of Fire. Its properties are: passion, power energetic, cleansing, banishment, catharsis, destruction, soul, sun, Will, protection, enlightenment. It can be used as the foremost Pillar for workings and rites related/focused on these things.
Pillar of Water: It represents the element of Water. Its properties are: memory, birth, cleansing, flow, moon, spirit, healing, clarity, feeling, goal, prediction/foresight, depth, time. It can be used as the foremost Pillar for workings and rites related/focused on these things.
Pillar of Air: It represents the element of Air. Its properties are: knowledge, message/news, cleansing, banishment, increase, empowerment, communication, in/evocation, mind. It can be used as the foremost Pillar for workings and rites related/focused on these things.
The Gates of the Otherworld
In the Hekatean praxis, a central tenet and practice (still in the theoretical stage) is that of using Gates to connect to realms and worlds entwined with the one we reside in as a means to either draw directly from where a rite or working’s goal is “originating” or to communicate and interact with the entities residing in those realms. The Gates are three: the Gate of Fire, connecting us with the realm(s) of deities and higher spiritual planes/spheres, the Gate of Water, connecting us with the realm(s) of daemons, the fae, other such spirits and the parallel (to us) planes and spheres and the Gate of Earth, connecting us with the realm(s) of the dead and lower planes/spheres. Each Gate has its own properties and roles. Air has no gate since it is the means, the road if you wish, connecting all of them. If I were to place them on a crossroads, I’d so in this manner:
For a Y crossroad, each branch would lead to one of the three Gates, with the individual standing in the centre, and Air connecting all three Gates and the centre.
For a X crossroad, the right, left and forward branches would hold the three Gates while the individual would stand close to the centre but also within the behind brance, with Air both connecting everything and guiding/pushing the individual from the behind branch, representing where he came from.
Gate of Fire: The Gate of Fire connects to the higher realms. It grants interaction and communication with deities. Its element is Fire and its properties are passion and power. Its nature is solar. It brings forth energy and is related to the Anima Mundi, the World Soul. It symbolizes Will and the Higher Self (soul).
Gate of Water: The Gate of Water connects to the parallel realms. It grants interaction and communication with the fae, daemons and other such spirits. Its element is Water and its properties are feeling and healing. Its nature is lunar. It brings forth flow and is related to the Sensus/Spiritus Mundi, the World Feeling/Spirit. It symbolizes the goal/intent and the Self (spirit).
Gate of Earth: The Gate of Earth connects to the lower realms. It grants interaction and communication with the dead. Its element is Earth and its properties are instinct, stability and fertility-death. Its nature is physical/earthly. It brings forth growth and is related to the Corpus Mundi, the World Body. It symbolizes the action and the Lower Self (life force/body).
Each Gate is represented by an appropriate elemental item. Specifically, the Gate of Fire would be a source of fire, such as a candle, the Gate of Water would be an amount of water, such as a bowl of water and the Gate of Earth would be something of the earth, such as a bowl of salt or dirt.
The Gates are an important aspect of the Hekatean praxis I am developing. Inspired by Hekate’s liminal nature, I thought of something that could make use of that as well as explore fields I always wished to indulge in (namely, interaction with spirits/entities). Also, the Gates will be a means to approach ancestor veneration and other aspects of Hekate’s spheres of influence, which are off-limits for me as far as most traditional methods are concerned.
Different Gates will be opened depending on the rite. In most cases, only one Gate will be opened. However, I am thinking of a very special and significant, major ritual where all three Gates would be opened at once. Still, this can be dangerous (as well as taxing), so I am keeping it as a mere idea until I can test the Gates practically.
The Gates will be used for empowerment of workings and as portals of communication and interaction with the appropriate entities for religious rites. In order to use them, a specific procedure must be followed. First, one should place the foundations (the Pillars), around the object to be turned into a Gate, with the Pillar of the corresponding element in front of the Gate, facing the practitioner. The Pillar of the opposing element should be placed behind the Gate, while the other two can be placed in either side (left or right). Following that is the Unlocking of the Gates, a small rite unto itself, using the Crossroads Key to unlock and activate the Gate. Finally, using the Hekatean Rod, the practitioner opens fully the activated and unlocked Gate, just like they would turn the handle of an unlocked door to fully open it.
The Rod is also very important in the rites of the Gates. It is used to ensure successful communication with the entities approached via the Gates as well as to maintain, through a calming authority, the exchange and working at hand. Should additional control and more forceful authority be required, the Dagger could also be used.
After the rite or working is complete, the Gate must be closed with the Rod and then locked with the Key, to fully deactivate it and make certain that nothing (energy, entities etc) will “leak” through. The objects used as the Gates should be cleaned (e.g. the water or dirt be disposed of, respectfully), cleansed and stored away. The objects (e.g. the candle or the bowls) should not be used for mundane reasons, although they can be used in other magical operations (for instance, if necessary, the same bowl can be used for more than one Gate, although that’s not preferred).
The Gates, even though untested yet, are certainly a powerful and dangerous tool and should be handled with care, respect and caution.
I will post more stuff as soon as I test everything.
As some of you may know, I have a fairly specific and designated praxis of my own shaping. (Those who don’t know what I’m referring to can check my other blog here. However, it seems that new parts want to emerge or add themselves to it.
What am I talking about? My practice related to Hekate, that’s what. Until recently, this part of my path and overall praxis was fairly loose and “whatever goes”. Nothing really specific or much organized. However, things are beginning to change, as it seems. Should this change develop and stick around for good, it would be the most organized, developed and unique of the various practices my path contains.
Allow me to further elabourate. Both my own self and Hekate urge me to find a way to outgrow and overcome this “sloth period” that holds me firmly in its grasp. This urge as I finally realized pushed me towards improving and developing the parts of my path that were lost in the mists of uncertainty and blurred, loose plans. It seems this sparks my interest enough to give my Dweller a kick in the butt and fling him in my mind’s basement, where he belongs (and refuses to go for quite some time now).
My Hekatean practice (a term my mind seems fond of, since I keep using it unintentionally when thinking of this new, possible praxis) includes not only sacred days and actions (workings, rituals etc), things I did anyway, but new, unique and intriguing aspects born from my creativity as well as the inspiration from glimpses of concrete systems, like those of British Traditional Wicca or of the Clan of Tubal Cain.
I am already designating specific, Hekatean tools, notions, lore, symbolisms and workings. I am already building a system and I can’t wait to try it out. I won’t allow myself to get overly excited though. This is still only a big idea and much jumbled theory waiting to be tested in actual practice.
I wonder… if this new praxis truly works and becomes permanent and definite… could it “swallow up” the rest of my path and forge it anew? Heh, it seems that every new year brings changes… Just when I thought my path’s evolution had settled down for a bit.
It’s been nearly three weeks since my dedication. I have noticed many things, some subtle and some effing screaming at my face. For instance, I noticed that my skill with divinatory methods has risen considerably. Same with my intuition and magical prowess. I seem to be far more effective with anything intellectual and magical.
So why am I writing about post-dedicational chaos? Because I am in a chaotic state in all fields: emotional, mental, life… Everything in my life and myself is screaming and flying around as if on a Ride of Death. Things are changing, I am changing and everything’s in chaos. It’s not exactly a ‘lack of order’ type of chaos. It’s more along the lines of everything re-adjusting and re-forming under a different light. Still that is change in itself and chaos right there.
It is painful and unsettling. Terrifying and hostile. Yet absolutely necessary and needed. If nothing changed then the “update” I am receiving would overwhelm and destroy me. As a person I much respect told me, it’s due to being “downloaded” all sorts of stuff for the new role and job. I know that this is needed and will turn out for the best, helping me weed out problems and such.. but Gods-damnit it’s hard!
Thus, I kinda whine about it here… Hopefully this will be of some kind of help for others, even simply to show them they’re not alone (I doubt it -_-). I hope it will end before I go bonkers. Thankfully, I think Hekate knows my limits. Heck, She can even help me find myself again if needed, it’s within Her power! The best part is I can simply think about Her and I instantly remember the importance of all this.
By the way, is this a form of this dark night of the soul I have heard and read about?
ETA: The Dark Night of the Soul, generally speaking, is when you hit a place where you are so miserable that you think about throwing out all your spiritual practices, that nothing seems worth it, and nothing feels fulfilling. Thanks to Oakthorne for this clarification!
OK time for a rant! This will be about those people (all of us have met them one way or another) who are posers and fakes propagating nonsense and lies.
Hekate made it VERY clear even before the dedication that part of my ‘duties’ will be correcting misconceptions regarding Her and make sure people learn about Her and for Her from the right sources (be them people or books or websites). Part of that is ‘checking’ whether other people claiming to be Her followers are really what they claim (and by the same token, I’m only too happy to be ‘checked’ in return!). There are many ways to do so. Basic questions regarding Hekate are one way. Questions regarding years of experience and/or possible training is another (in other words: qualifications). Observing the individual’s in question claims, statements, how they say what they say and in real life, whether they “walk their talk” or not.
Well, I ‘faced’ (in chat) a poser and fake some time ago.. He claimed he was a devotee of Hekate for x number of years (I cannot recall the exact number but I do remember it was quite grandiose). OK… Proof time! I asked him if it would be ok with him to make a couple of questions. He was fine with that. I proceeded to ask him to tell me some of the basic aspects of Hekate. Pretty basic and noob question if you ask me. His first response was “She has so many I can’t pick which are basic!”. Ouch there.. First alarming sign. Anywhere you look, be it the web or a book, Hekate is described briefly through a few of Her aspects. Now, I am aware that these vary BUT most are similar: witchcraft, night, crossroads, initiation, the dead. Pretty basic stuff. I asked again and prompted him to just pick the most common ones (I mean.. I didn’t ask to be told whether She is the Keeper of Secrets and Cosmic Soul for crying out loud!). He was correct on SOME. I don’t know about you, my readers, but I don’t think that child-nurturing or fertility are Her most well-known and basic aspects…. Anyway.
I asked him other questions regarding Hekate, his service to Her etc. He told me that he “will answer no more questions” from me in a passive-agressive tone. Alarming sign here too. Hekate is a Goddess of Revealing, among other things, and us, Her Torchbearing Followers, SHOULD be open to questions and sharing. I told him that and what did I get in response? That I should not anger Her by pestering Her followers. Riiiiiiiight… That and some other things he accused me/told me in a rude manner made me lose it a bit.. That ended up with me going all “god-mode” (i.e. the not-so-pretty flaunting of qualifications and statements and backing up in an agressive and powerful manner) on him. He started cussing and yelling (i.e. all CAPS) and he got himself banned from chat. Until the ban kicked in (damn ning glitches) he kept insulting me and everyone else present, rambling on how Her wrath would descend upon me and how I knew nothing about Her. Well, I guess cornered animals become desperately ferocious until they fall.
This incident made me think a bit. How many fakers are out there? How many people are swayed and twisted by people like him or worse? How difficult is my task in reality?
I’d answer all these questions with “a lot/very much”. That’s fine though. I am in Her service. I should perform my duties in the best of my ability.
However, I’m not going to go easy on those who dare taint Her name.
Early evening of Thursday 4th 2010. While returning home from my uni, I thought about Hekate. No. I should say “I continue thinking about Hekate”. As if She ever leaves my mind these days. I thought what an essay in Hekate: Her Sacred Fires mentioned: asking the Goddess Herself to reveal the Mysteries to you. Asking Her to show you what the relationship is all about. I was aware, due to another such essay, that improper wording and haste can prove detrimental on many levels. Thus, I asked Her to teach me how to best serve Her, how to be most worthy of Her favour and to show me Her Mysteries.
Did I expect such a quick responce? No freaking way.
Within a few minutes, I started feeling light-headed and tired even though there was no physical reason why I should be feeling that way. The surroundings, perfectly familiar and known to me, gradually became odd. Things.. shifted. There’s no other way to describe how my POV changed, how my awareness expanded, how the gentle, “under-the-veil” vibration of all things around me came within my focus and perception. I still saw everything with the same eyes, I still looked at the familiar and known scenery. Yet it had changed, dramatically so. People passing by me felt real and tangible as ever but I felt as if I wasn’t really there. I felt… like the shadow of a shadow, looking behind a veil so thin, the eyes cannot really see it.. but you can feel its presence and ever so light weight. If I was asked where my eyes were, I’d say they had been somehow sunk in my skull.. I saw everything from some kind of depth, even though my physical sight was not hindered in any manner. My perception of it though was altered.
I was mumbling the whole time. Whispering phrases and words and sentences non-stop. No one heard me.. yet the words echoed in my mind. Most of them faded from memory almost immediately. I did held onto some though. “Force of the Moon, Searing Flame, Light of the Starry Nights, Shadow of Shadows, Shining Serpent-Girdled Lady, She who Opens and Locks, The Mighty Initiatrix who brings all before Her and from whom all come, She who holds the Keys and Ropes and Blades and ushers everything in the Cosmos, the Life and Death and Holder of Mystery, the Mistress of Secrets, the Shadow of the Flame, the Blinding Light of the Deepest Darkness.”. Imagine that this is merely a small portion of all that I muttered in the fifteen minutes it took me to get home. The moment I entered the empty house I loudly said “HAIL HEKATE!” instinctually. I didn’t even realize I said it at first.
Those feelings and shifted perception did not vanish. Instead they “faded into the background”. In other words, if I am focused on something else, I’m not under the ‘effects’ of this experience. I’m looking forward to the next days and experiences. What else will She reveal?
Let me begin this post by saying that I was typing while visibly trembling.. I was shaken, physically, mentally, spiritually… I am Hers. I am Hers now… I feel my mind filled with Her names.. My soul is crying for Her… Even my very body is shaking with Her memory…
Dedication is POWERFUL.
The rite itself was fairly simple.. On the floor, a napkin, a lit white candle, an old key, a small piece of cake, blessed salt water, athame and myself.. Myself? Hardly. I called all familiar beings in attendance and for witnessing this dedication. Gods, daemons, ancestors… All here to observe, confirm and witness… And in the very centre of the focus lay She, the Queen of the Night, the Mighty Initiatrix, the Cosmic Soul, my Goddess, HEKATE.
I did not plan the ritual ahead of time.. I decided it would be best if it came out of my inspiration and the influence of the Gods right there and then. I only had one thing decided, that the primary offering would be a drop of my blood, to seal and symbolize the offering of my whole self, the dedication.
It worked… not as I expected. As I sat there, calling Her in Her many names… Crying out for Her, presenting myself before Her, pledging myself to Her service.. for life. I swore no oaths, I took no vows… Yet this simple statement: “I am yours now.. I give you myself, my life, my service.. May be worthy of you…” holds for me greater weight than any elabourate oath, any detailed promise.. I feared making promises that I might not fully uphold… and She asked for none.. She simply asked for ME… and I gave Her myself… It was and is unbelievable.. the presences.. like many eyes watching me.. yet as a powerful flame, there was She, my Goddess, my Queen, my Mother… Her presence gentle yet firm, fleeting for the senses yet powerfully there… She saw. She heard. She accepted. I am Hers.
I tried offering a drop of my blood. I used a sharp, sterilized needle to pierce my fingertip… I couldn’t. It’s not that I cowered… I couldn’t prick my finger! Not the tip, not the soft skin on the back of the palm, not the thin part between the fingers. I pressed, hard indeed, and I could not pierce my skin. I started trembling… A thought stroke me like lightining.. “This is not what I want”… Hekate did not want that offering. She did not want my blood. I stood there, needle in hand, trembling as if I were naked and out in the freezing cold… She wanted ME. My life, my words, my actions, my everything. She cares not for blood or offerings or rituals although She finds them appropriate and good. I left the needle aside.. and gave myself to Her. I am Hers.
I feel… I can’t describe it. This is the Mystery. I cannot find words for it.. nor should I.. All I can say is this… I’ll treasure it.. Hekate asks not for promises kept.. She asks for truthful devotion.. She asks for love and trust and wisdom and friendship and working.. I realized that even if at times I fail to keep my promises.. what matters to Her is that I am honest and true.. She wants me to know that I cannot keep all promises.. She showed me this during the preparatory month.. I only realized it now..
I have nothing else to say.. I can’t even guarrantee the cohesion of all this.. It feels as if I am in a half-dream state.. I am unsure if I am really typing and describing anything.. I don’t know if you’ll read anything of meaning or mere ramblings… However, I promised this blog.. Earlier than expected.. She is here, She has always been here.. It’s just that my eyes opened only now.. I feel Her.. Not overly so.. yet distinctly.. She is here. I am Hers.
Hail Hekate.. I love you.